Top 5 reasons why its good not doing IVF anymore

So here's my top five things that are good about coming to the end of the 'Yellow brick IVF road', not in any particular order.

1. No obsessing about AF

When doing IVF or just TCC, obsessing about AF is a way of life. Either you are waiting for it to arrive so that things can get moving and the next cycle can start, or hoping like hell it won't arrive because you are pregnant.

Either way, its a lot of brain power that goes into worrying about something that's been happening to me for nearly 30 years. Its going to be nice not to think about it anymore, although if I'm honest, that's not completely true.

I still hold out a dim hope that we might manage a natural conception so I will be awaiting the arrival of my period each month, but hopefully not with as much fear, trepidation, hope.. that I have done in the last couple of years.

2. No doctors

No doctors, no nurses, no needles, no injections, no pessaries, no tablets, no surgery, no poking and prodding...I've had it all and then some over the last three years. But I really must say that all the doctors and nurses I have dealt with on the IVF road have been absolutely wonderful. They have all been incredibly supportive and no-one ever had a bad word to say, even when I was at my most obsessive with crazy questions and worries.

My goal is to go six months without seeing a doctor at all - what a novelty. I've got my next melanoma check then so I reckon if I stay healthy I've got a good chance of achieving it.

3. No TWW

Of all the stress-inducing, heart-breaking, soul-destroying things that happen during IVF, the two week wait has got to be the worst. It is just pure torture - the only way I can describe it. You ride the roller coaster of emotions, one day feeling positive that everything is going to work out this time, to the next when you convince yourself that its hopeless and you will never become a mother.

I lived through six two week waits and I never want to go through it again. Technically, I'm in a natural two week wait now, but I really am not thinking about being pregnant or ever getting pregnant again, so its just not on my mind at all.

4. Back in control

The loss of control over your life that you hand over at the door of the IVF clinic is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with. Suddenly, you can't control something as basic as when you can have sex, what days you need to see a doctor and when you can go on holidays.

Its wonderful to now be planning our life - holidays, trips overseas, a possible job offer for LH in Europe, all without having to worry about whether we need to be around for IVF cycles. Even just to be able to plan a weekend away without worrying about whether it will clash with blood tests or ultrasounds.

Maybe women who are less controlling of themselves deal with this aspect better than I did, but it feels nice to be able to decide what, when and where I'm going to do something without IVF hanging over my head.

5. More money

There's no doubt about it, IVF is a huge financial drain. Even here in Australia, where much of the cost is funded publicly, you still end up 1000's of dollars out of pocket for every cycle. Add to that all of the extra surgery I had to have, and we have spent thousands on IVF. Lucky for us, we could afford it but plenty of people can't and often the decision to stop is a financial one and I feel lucky that we could stop on our own terms, not because we ran out of money.

Well, that's my list and its very satisfying to write it. Right now I am coping pretty well with our 'loss' of conceiving baby number two. I'm not feeling too sad most of the time but I would stop short of saying I am 'happy'. That will come with time.

I'm enjoying being Zoe's mother more now I'm not preoccupied with IVF, and I'm thinking lots about my next career moves and further study.

As for this blog, its almost served its purpose now. I started it because I needed the therapy I get from pouring out my thoughts onto a page, and its given me that outlet in a wonderful way. I'm undecided about what to do with the blog. We are off on holidays to Europe in a week, so I'll decide when I get back.