Yesterday my dr called with the results of the endometrial biopsy and said that once again they have detected something they thought might be placental tissue and also a lot of inflammation and necrosis.
I'd been assuming the worst since things have gone so wrong this time around, and I had a gut feeling the news would be bad so it didn't hit me too hard.
The upshot is that I'm to have yet another (my third) hysteroscopy and curette to see if they can't get rid of the problems this time around. Dr D said they have to strike a fine balance between trying to get rid of all the rogue tissue and not doing any damage to my uterus.
In effect I will have had the surgical equivalent of three abortions this year, which is not great. Each one increases the chances of scarring and adhesions the more they are done. But I really have no other option. We can't put any more embryos in there until this is sorted out, and it hasn't resolved naturally after more than 12 months, so Dr D (and I) doesn't think its going to. She's asked one of her colleagues to do the surgery - not sure why, maybe he is more experienced.
I haven't got low expectations now, I've got no expectations that things will go well. It would be great to think this is the last of the surgery and it will be sorted out, but it might not be. Strangely, I don't feel as gutted about it as I might expect. I think its because we have such a slim chance of another pregnancy anyway, this is just another road block for us. If I was 10 years younger, I think it would worry me a lot more because I would be concerned about the damage to my uterus and future pregnancies.
But as it is, at best we will have only one more pregnancy, and that is extremely unlikely anyway, that it doesn't seem so devastating. Maybe it will hit me harder if it doesn't work out this time but for now, I'm just stoically plodding on and hoping for the best.
Amazing how much of a mess a badly formed placenta can make.
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