Another step forward

Today I had another endometrial biospy. It was as straightforward as before. Dr D asked had I taken any pain killers and I said I didn't even think of it. I just don't seem to have much pain and no cramping so there wasn't any need.

So I now have to wait up to a week for the results. In the meantime, I'm expecting my period to start. Dr D agreed that I could start taking oestrogen pills as if this will be a medicated frozen cycle. If the results are bad, then I'll just stop taking them some time next week. I've still got plenty of pills and all my paperwork ready to go from last time.

As for what happens if the results of the biopsy show yet more inflammation, Dr D admitted she wasn't sure what next and that she would talk to her colleague who did the last hysteroscopy. Although she was reasonably confident, without getting my hopes up, that he had done a good job of removing all the rogue tissue.

So here I am again...waiting....waiting...waiting.

I've been a pretty slack blogger of late. The truth is that I've just felt so low and incredibly frustrated by the whole IVF process at the moment that I couldn't even blog. But the whole point of the blog is for me to work through all the hard stuff, so I've resolved to make more effort.

I'm also starting to feel again that IVF is a big imposition on our lives. We are trying to plan holidays, and even thinking about potentially going to live in New York and yet everything revolves around when we might finally hang up our IVF boots for good.

In the end, we've just gone and made plans for holidays regardless. We've wasted so much time now that another month isn't going to matter much. LH has had to abandon the possible NYC move because they want someone in March or April, which we can't possibly commit to.

I hope that we will be finished with IVF one way or another by the end of June but perhaps it won't be until the end of this year. It reminds me of the mind set we were in at the start of 2009, where we planned for a whole year of IVF. Happily, we were all done by March.

I've also been thinking I need another visit to the counsellor to try and work out how to deal with this incredible frustration I am feeling. The sheer annoyance of not being able to do anything and having to wait is just so hard.

I feel at the moment that one positive event (eg today's biopsy) happens and then we wait another whole month before the next stage can happen. Its just excruciating :-(