Too much advice????

I am really quite fed up with all the advice I keep getting from the 'experts' about Zoe's weight. Despite the fact that she had gained 80 g in 4 days, the early childhood nurse visited again yesterday to weigh and measure Zoe, and found that she had only gained 100 g in 8 days (last Wed to this Thurs).

This is apparently not good enough. She had also grown 1 cm and her head circumference had increased by 0.3 cm. The length measure is well over the average gain to expect per week - about 0.625 cm according to this website (http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/weight-gain-metric.html) and the head circumference gain is also better (should be 1.27 cm per month).

The weight gain should be 155 -241 g per week but this source says it is also acceptable for some babies to gain 113-142 g per week. At any rate, she is close to doing what she needs to. I also think that having just pooed or peed or having a tummy full of feed could make a difference of 15-25 g but these experts don't seem to account for a margin of error.

So the nurse then launched into a discussion about what I am doing. Am I expressing frequently? Yes, 6 times a bloody day! Am I feeding her frequently? Yes, 7 times a day! Does she have at least 6 wet nappies a day? YES! Does she poo much? Yes, very frequently! Is she latched on properly? Yes, according to this nurse, being about the 10th one to check and say so.

Do I feel my breasts go soft after a feed? NO! I don't notice let-down, hardness, softness or any other bloody feeling. I just know that there's lots of milk there because I can express up to 60ml in 10 mins.

Needless to say, I am getting really frustrated with all this. This nurse even asked me what happened to my breasts when I got pregnant (they hurt a bit and then got bigger!), and what happened to them when I reached puberty? Umm, they grew?? What the F...?

So her advice was more skin-to-skin contact (ok, that's fine, can do), more Motilium (ok, can't do any harm) and 50 ml top-ups after each feed (ok, makes sense).

But after talking to her colleague back at the office, she called me again to ask me to take Zoe to a doctor to make sure there isn't anything wrong with her. I am going to do this, because its sensible but I can't help but feel its a total cop-out. They can't think of anything else to tell me to do, and they have to cover their arses. Maybe that's a bit unkind, but Zoe was thoroughly checked by the paediatrician before she was discharged from hospital, so I will be very surprised if there is anything wrong.

Anyway, I am taking Zoe to see the GP this morning just to be sure. When I said I had an appointment to see the paediatrician in two weeks (6 week check-up), she said this wasn't good enough and I should see someone sooner. Well, at least I can get another Motilium script from the GP.

I also called the lactation consultant yesterday to discuss the latest issues. She asked about Zoe's unsettled periods. I said there were about two a day, and the time varied. She said if she is unsettled, she is hungry so I need to keep feeding her and give formula in the bottle until she settles.

The lactation consultant also said the weight gain was good, in view of the fact that she has grown 1 cm in a week. She said Zoe can't do both - gain weight and grow longer. The early childhood nurse doesn't seem to think this matters in the overall equation however.

So now I am giving Zoe 50 ml in the bottle after each feed, and feeding her at the breast as much as I can when she is unsettled. Something seems to have happened to her in the last 24 hours though. She has been taking 2-3 hours to settle after a couple of her feeds, sucking constantly at the breast.

Perhaps, now that she has reached her due date, she is cluster feeding at last. I really hope this is what is going on, and perhaps now we will see some really good weight gain.

The really depressing thing was that the lactation consultant told me some women always have to supplement breastfeeding. I asked her would we ever get out of using the bottle and breastfeed exclusively, and it seems maybe not. The thought of expressing 6 times a day for months on end is really overwhelming and I was in tears yesterday thinking about this.

I just don't know how its all going to pan out. Perhaps I will continue to breastfeed and give formula top-ups because I can't see that expressing so frequently is something I can do long term. I think 2-3 times a day might work, but not 6.

BTW, thanks to commenter about the tip of giving Zoe tummy time to relieve wind and gas, it does help.