Where there's a will, there's a way

Zoe had her weigh-in at the SCN on Monday. She had gained 44 g in 4 days. This was a marginal improvement over the 44 g she gained in 5 days previously but still well under the 25g/day target.

I was grateful she'd gained some weight but I felt really down when we came home, wondering if we will ever achieve the weight gain we need just with breastfeeding.

I am resisting and holding out as strongly as I can against just giving in and feeding her with a bottle only and formula. But it is so hard when I wake her for a feed, and she is just so sleepy and lacking the energy to do any really effective sucking from the breast. The bottle is such an easy way out for her - it takes far less effort.

At least most of the bottle feeds are still breast milk but the constant expressing with the pump is pretty draining as well.

I talked to the lactation consultant about it and she recommended increasing the amount of top-up bottle to 60 ml for the two feeds of the day where she is most unsettled. Yesterday, we tried this at 6pm and 9pm, which worked well and actually made her more alert at 9pm. Tonight we will try it for the 9pm and night feed, because she was really unsettled last night. She woke at 3.15am and it took until 5am to get her back to sleep.

Today we had a home visit from the early childhood nurse. She was really lovely, and the emphasis was well and truly on not imposing too much on our private space in the house. They treat it as a privelige to be allowed into people's homes and try really hard not to dictate to parents too much.

I was really conscious of whether we had our house set up right, but we got the stamp of approval on Zoe's bed, which was the main thing she was interested in. I think she was also sizing us up as a couple and assessing whether we are caring for Zoe. I think it was pretty obvious to her that we are really committed to her care. She did warn us that she is obligated to report any suspicions of abuse to DOCS, but that's just her job.

She did a full head to toe check on Zoe, which I suspect was already done by the paediatrician at the hospital after she was born, but no matter.

The best news was that Zoe weighed in at 2.84 kg, which if it is correct, is a gain of 50 g since Monday. This is exactly what we are trying to achieve, so hopefully things are on the right track now. The scales could be different from the ones at the hospital but they should be accurate to with in 5 g or so. Her head circumference had increased by 0.2cm, not a lot, but she is still on the 50th percentile for this measure, which is good. She had shrunk from 52 cm to 50.5 cm, which is apparently not unusual because trying to measure the length of a squirming baby is not easy!

My main aim now is to have patience, patience, patience! I am just looking for too much progress too soon I think, and I need to give our wee girl time to grow. She still hasn't reached term yet, so I can't expect too much of her. I need to tell myself that she will soon breastfeed like a newborn but it will just take time. In the meantime, the top-ups of breast milk and formula will make sure she doesn't slip too far behind.