The crying game

Zoe's latest trick is crying inconsolably after she has a feed and before she goes to sleep. I am pretty certain its not a cry of hunger, since it always comes after a good session on the breast and then a 50 ml bottle. It doesn't seem to be wind either.

She just frets when she's tired. I guess its pretty normal behaviour for a 6 weeker, at which stage, by all accounts, the crying reaches a peak. We can't really complain - its not like she's screaming for hours on end all day long.

The settling routine is now as follows - cuddles and possibly a play on the playmat if she's wide awake, then upstairs to the dark room, more cuddles until she stops screaming and relaxes her arms and legs. Then wrap tightly, more cuddling until the crying stops, then into bed, and rocking in the cot with one hand on her until she starts to drop off to sleep. If she starts crying again, I pick her up, comfort her to quietness, rewrap and start again. This cycle can get repeated about 5 or 6 times before she finally goes to sleep but at least she is now dropping off to sleep in her bed rather than in my arms.

Lovely husband has now introduced another variation. He plays 'white noise' that he downloaded from the internet on an I-pod that is beside her bed. She really seems to be quietened by it and it really does work. My alternative to that is to sing nursery rhymes to her - same effect, I suspect and she seems to like it.

At the moment, the settling is taking an hour, but hopefully it will start to take less time as she gets the hang of it.

Zoe also had her latest weigh-in yesterday. It was good news - another 190 g added over the last 9 days. She now weighs 3.3 kg. The scale wasn't electronic though, so not as accurate.

It was a different nurse we saw and her attitude was very different to the nurse we have been seeing. She was very breezy about the weight gain - 'that's great, wonderful, you are doing great' she said. I asked would we also measure her head and length, and she was very off-hand about whether it was necessary. She said the length was dodgy anyway (at last someone has acknowledged this!!) but she did the head circumference, which was just over 37 cm, a gain of more than 0.5 cm in the 9 days.

She was very concerned about my welfare, particularly the amount of expressing I am doing. She said we really need to aim to replace the expressing sessions with breastfeeds. I said I struggle to get in more feeds because Zoe sleeps well once she is asleep and feeding a sleepy baby doesn't give me much stimulation anyway. The nurse said that's fine, its best to trust my gut instincts.

It was really nice to talk to someone who recognises that the advice (express after every feed, bottle comps every feed) is actually incredibly exhausting on the mother, which in itself doesn't help matters. The only other professional who has had that attitude has been the lactation consultant.

I do really want to feed Zoe more so that I make more milk but I also know that sleep is also a great way for her to gain weight. Somewhere in the middle there is a balance.

So I am going to try and get in another feed (7 a day) and drop one of the expressing sessions (down to 2 or 3 a day). The nurse said not to add any more comp bottles with extra feeds and our next move is to decrease the comp feeds. She said we could go back in two weeks to check on progress. Its good to be 'off the leash', so to speak, of weekly weigh-ins as well.

As for the actual breastfeeding itself, after a few times, the little miss has got used to the new 'football' hold and has taken to it really well. I think I am getting more of the breast in her mouth and she is sucking more strongly than before. I can certainly hear more 'gulping' sounds as she feeds.

So we keep hanging in there and hoping things will get a bit easier. At least the weight gain seems to be no longer a problem, its just simplifying the routine we need to follow to achieve it.