The fine line between optimism and pessimism

I've been feeling much more relaxed this week. Work is a lovely 'busy haven' that keeps my mind occupied all day and off TTC thoughts. I've been trying to get myself into the right frame of mind for my frozen cycle in February.

I some how need to tread a line between feeling optimistic and having general 'good karma' and keeping the sobering statistics in my head. ie. that we only have about a 10-20% chance of success with each transfer.

I can see that as soon as the cycle kicks off, I'll go straight into positive mode, but I can't change my nature. Hopefully the fall won't be so hard this time if we fail.

The nurse called me today to check all was ok and I was ready for my frozen cycle. I told her I'm just waiting for AF to show up and then on we go. I said that we were planning another stimulated cycle straight after the frozen cycle, if it doesn't work. She said that's no problem if I am on the antagonist cycle. I can go in for my blood test early if AF shows up before the beta test and they will confirm or not pregnancy and also hormone levels for the next cycle.

I think focussing on the cycle ahead may be the way forward. That way, I am taking the pressure off the current cycle.

It's Day 21 of this 'natural' cycle and still no sign of ovulation. I didn't ovulate until Day 24 after the last IVF cycle, so I expect this one will be the same. Anyway, lovely husband is back tomorrow night so we are back on track for timing with ovulation. We are off to Fraser Island for the long weekend on Friday. It will be lovely to laze around and swim and have fun trying to make a baby.