Day 11 - frozen IVF cycle

It's been ages since my last post! That's because we've moved house and only just today got back online in the new place. Moving was all good and new house is very nice. Let's hope it will be the site of much happiness for us.

I'm on Day 11 of my first frozen cycle. I must say, it is very uneventful and strangely quiet compared to a stimulated cycle. After spotting for an interminable 6 days, I finally got AF last Saturday and we were off.

My first ultrasound and blood test was yesterday. As expected, things are progressing slowly. It was interesting to see what the ultrasound showed on an unstimulated cycle. I was expecting to see not many follicles and not very big. But there were 12 follies on the right and 10 on the left. The biggest were around 7-9mm. It didn't look as though one was predominating over the others - I guess that will start to happen over the next few days.

In the spirit of being less obsessive, I didn't ask what my hormone levels were. Apparently, they signalled 'early days'. I'm due more bloods and u/s on Day 13.

I'm still feeling really down at the moment. I just can't let myself have any hope because I feel that I need to keep my expectations low in line with our chances each cycle. At the moment, I am fully expecting a negative result with this cycle, which is a big change from before for me and who knows, maybe I will be proved wrong.

I've been reading a book on donor conception and it makes me cry every time I read it. Mainly from the unbearable sweetness of the stories of people who have had their children by donor eggs or sperm, it has to be said.

But gosh there are a lot of things to consider. We won't venture into that territory until the end of this year but it will be easier to tackle if we've already been thinking it through.

This year just seems like climbing Mount Everest at the moment. Time is dragging by interminably- I guess that's good in a way because it keeps me from thinking about how my time is running out. I just hope I have the energy, mental stamina and emotional toughness to get through it.

I'm thinking I need some more councelling - I need something to pull myself up out of this miserable quagmire. Will try for a happier post next time.