12 weeks - wish I felt more confident

Well, I will be 12 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Can't believe I've made it this far. The last two months have been the longest of my life.

There's been no more frightening red blood but plenty of brown gunk. Every time I feel some dampness 'down there' I rush off to the loo to see if the bleeding has started again. But no, its just brown and therefore not a worry. I suppose this nervousness will be around for a while yet.

I felt really down today. Not sure why. Perhaps it is because we are almost in the clear with this pregnancy and I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed with it. On Friday we will have our 12 week scan to see if little E3 is ok and to do the chorionic villus sampling. I'm a bit nervous, mainly that the procedure goes ok.

My doctor has chosen an expert to perform the CVS. I am hoping it will be done through my tummy rather than transvaginally because I've read that its slightly more safe. The risk of miscarriage is 0.5 or 1 in 200. That's very low and a very reassuring number. Once we get the all clear, we can share our news with the world.

Little E3 is apparently doing lots of growing at the moment, not that I can tell. He/she has now got finger and toe nails and can swallow amniotic fluid. It can also produce insulin from the pancreas so that it can process the glucose it takes in from me. Amazing that something so small and unformed can achieve something so complicated. Actually, its not really unformed - more like almost complete but just in miniature size. I am constantly amazed that all this is going on inside me while I am completely oblivious and uncontrolling of it.