Its actually weird reflecting on the last 3 months. We have come so far. We started out with a baby that slept constantly and never cried, to one who is so interested in the world she can hardly sit still enough to feed. All those nights and days of 3 hourly feeds, recording how long she drank from each breast, how much milk I managed to express from each side, and how many wet and pooey nappies she had. It all seems like an age ago but was only a few weeks.
Not even 3 weeks ago, this milestone couldn't come fast enough because I was just worn out from trying to settle Zoe off to sleep 5 times a day. And now she does it all by herself. She usually has a little cry for 5 mins, but she well and truly can put herself to sleep really consistently now.
And 4 weeks ago, there were only 3 default positions for Zoe - sleeping, feeding, or being held for 5 mins or so at a time. Now she will lie on her playmat for at least 20 mins and entertain herself by looking around at everything. Today she lay on our spare bed while LH had a sleep and just gurgled and smiled at me for half an hour - so lovely!
Her 'Save our sleep' routine is going well, although bizzarely I feel more tired now than I have at any stage so far. Perhaps it is catching up with me.
She would ideally wake at 7am for a feed but in reality it is usually 5.15-5.30am, then I keep her up as long as I can until the aimed for bedtime of 9am. Then 2 hours sleep and up again at 11am for a feed, then bed again at 1pm. Then up again at 3pm and I try to keep her up until 7pm, with walks in the pram when she usually sleeps, bath and feed in between. The 7pm bedtime is sacred and we usually manage it easily because we get the routine back in sync as the day goes on. Then I wake her again at 10.30pm for a feed, and she usually settles back to sleep fairly well at 11.30pm.
Ending the day with her at 7pm is great. It means I can settle down with a glass of wine and get dinner ready before LH comes home. Its really good to have that down time and be able to rely on it.
I am tired from not getting enough sleep overnight so I still need a sleep during the day but hopefully she will start to sleep until 7am, which would mean enough sleep for me overnight.
The key is probably giving her more milk. She's now up to 130 ml x5 d day, which is a bit more than recommended for her weight. She shows no signs of it being too much yet and that's on top of whatever breast milk she is getting from me.
The breastfeeding is way less stressful now that its not the main source of calories. I still feed her 5 times a day and for up to an hour at times, but if she's too tired to suck, it doesn't matter. I still appear to have at least some milk and am managing to express about 50 mls at the start and end of each day. Maybe we can continue like this for quite a while.
I guess many people would have stopped bothering with the breast under these circumstances, but I enjoy doing it and I really believe she is still getting the immune benefits from it at least. Its also really good to help her when she can't go to sleep or just needs some comfort.
LH and I still can't get over our luck at having such a beautiful baby in our lives and we are really looking forward to her learning lots of new things. I feel so positive about the last 3 months that I can't wait to do it all again. The odds of us having another baby are so heavily stacked against us but if we were lucky enough for it to happen again, it would just be wonderful.
Believe it or not, I really want to go through a pregnancy again, try to go through labour and feel the incredible high of holding a newborn baby again. It must be addictive and perhaps I wouldn't be saying it if I did go through labour and had another stressful pregnancy. That obviously hasn't scarred me too badly that I don't want to do it again.
On Tuesday I've got an appointment with the IVF specialist, so we will soon be making plans for our next attempt.
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