Slowly but surely progressing

Today I had my first blood test for this endometrial biopsy cycle. Its Day 10 and I was expecting not much to be happening and for them to send me for another BT on Monday. And guess what, I was right. I know the drill so well these days...

And I didn't ask to know what my test results were. I'm just over obsessing about it all and this cycle doesn't matter anyway.

Having the blood test this morning wasn't exactly smooth sailing. I've decided not to go to the IVF clinic for my blood tests and just to go to the local path collection centre. This I did this morning - Zoe and I walked over there with the pram. The first snag was that the path collection centre was at the back of a doctors surgery and up a big flight of stairs. So I had to leave the pram at the bottom of the stairs, hope no-one stole it while I was gone and hold Zoe in my arms while the nurse took blood. Fortunately she's such a good girl that she just sat there and didn't make a fuss.

I'd written urgent on the path request form since the nurses didn't do it before sending to me. I asked the nurse who took the blood when I could expect the results. She said 2-3 days, not realising that it was urgent. She was most insistent that I wouldn't get any results today and I was pretty worried about how that would work. But then she spotted the word 'urgent' and backtracked and said the results would be done today. I got the call at about 3.15pm and blood was taken about 8.30am so that's not too bad.

But on Monday I'm going to another collection centre that has wheelchair access - kicking myself for not checking this sooner.

I'm feeling a bit low about our miniscule chances of having another baby. A friend called and I told her all about my trials and tribulations with the hysteroscopy and last failed cycle. She said we should have asked for a refund. I told her its not the money I'm fretting about, its the lost embryo. Putting it into words - that of 7 embryos, we've had one baby so the chances of having another from the remaining two is slim - made me realise just how unlikely it is.

And I've been googling what the chances are of having an IVF baby from your own eggs at 43 and it looks like its even lower than I thought - less than 5%. But I can't help but think I want to have another good at a stimulated cycle just so I can rest assured that we tried everything we could before we gave up.

Its kind of weird to think that I will probably never use contraception ever again. All those years of taking the pill and using condoms are behind me now. And its quite a good feeling really. Contraception is just a nuisance so it will be good not to have to worry about it again.