Threatened miscarriage - is it all over?????

Its been a very harrowing 24 hours. Last night in the midway break during my shorthand course, I went to the loo only to find bright red blood everywhere. I was just so shocked and stunned. It really came out of nowhere. I hadn't felt any cramping or anything but just the awful red blood.

I have been carrying around a pad for the last 5 weeks since I was so nervous about things early on, and hadn't got around to taking it out of my bag. Thank god, because I would have been a mess without it.

Anyway, I called the nurse at the IVF clinic. Fortunately she is available 24 hours a day on the mobile for anyone on the early pregnancy monitoring programme. As it happened, I also had my 10 week screening blood test yesterday. The results were great - progesterone over 100 and hCG about 150,000 or more so all looked good from a hormone point of view.

She said to wait an hour and see if the bleeding stopped and then if it did, to come in for a scan in the morning or if not, to go to the emergency dept at the hospital.

Next thing that happened was that I passed quite a large blood clot. I didn't really think it was the baby but I did wonder if it was the second embryo that didn't make it. Anyway, I went back into class - god knows how because I couldn't concentrate, and then got up and left before the end.

I gave Lovely Husband a call and told him to meet me at RPA emergency. Luckily I didn't have to wait long. They measured my blood pressure and pulse, which were all fine and the doctor examined me. She said I really wasn't looking like someone who was about to miscarry because I was feeling so well, apart from the bleeding. It actually stopped after I passed the clot, which was good news.

By the time we left with instructions to come back in the morning for an ultrasound, I was feeling more positive that things would be ok. It was an especially good sign that I had no cramping or pain at all.

I don't know how, but I managed to get a good night's sleep and then up at 6.15am this morning to get into the Early Foetal Assessment Service at the hospital. Its first in, first served so we didn't want to wait because we were meant to be flying to the UK today. Unfortunately there was some more blood but not much, and not flowing. It was only really on the paper when I went to the loo and then it stopped again.

I was a bit nervous going into the ultrasound room, but fortunately the sonographer located the baby really quickly and we saw its little heart pounding away at 160 beats a minuute. It is also 3.5 cm long, just right for 10 weeks. I can't describe how relieved I felt at that point. It was just such a huge relief. Knowing the baby was still going strong made it much more likely everything was fine.

The sonographer had another good look around at the uterus and ovaries and couldn't see any problems. She did see a blood clot in the cervix though, so perhaps I am not done with the bleeding yet.

Next stop was the clinic to see a midwife. We went in feeling quite positive but she brought us down to earth a bit. She said I have a threatened miscarriage and we just can't predict where things will go from here. She said it was up to us whether we continued our plans to fly to the UK today but said it might be bad if I started miscarrying half way through a 14 hour light from Singapore to London.

When we got back home, we debated about whether to keep our travel plans. I called the obstetrician, who I saw for the first time on Monday. He said the results from the ultrasound were good and the lack of pain and cramping was also a good sign. But he reiterated the fact that I have a threatened miscarriage. He told me not to work for the rest of the week. When I told him about the travel plans, he said it was up to me but if I miscarried at 10 weeks, there would be a lot of blood and that might be bad on a long flight.

That sealed it for us so we didn't get on the plane this afternoon and I've been in bed for the rest of the day. There's no more bleeding and no pain and on the whole I am feeling fairly optimistic but the reality is we just don't know which way things will go from here.

We've booked new flights to fly to London on Friday and we'll make a decision about whether to go then. Unfortunately the travel insurance company have a clever little loophole to avoid reimbursing us the cost of our travel tickets. They won't cover pregnancies arising from IVF treatment. This is just so depressing and unfair but I already had a low opinion of them and that just confirmed it. Anyway, money is the least of our worries at the moment. I just want our baby to be ok. We will get over the disappointment of not seeing LH's family in time. The issue is not that going will cause me to miscarry, its that I might potentially be dealing with some very heavy bleeding and pain on a 14 hour flight, which would be pretty awful. If I am going to miscarry, it will happen whether I stay in bed or go about my normal routine.

I am still strangely positive that things will work out ok but its incredibly hard sitting around waiting to see what will happen. Every twinge around my abdomen or stomach and I worry that it is cramping starting.

Yet again I am thinking about how hard this road is and wishing we could have an easier run for a change. I guess I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. We haven't lost the baby yet and we're in with a good chance.