BFN - why do I do it to myself?

Yes, I have to confess I've just done a pregnancy test and guess what, I got a BFN. So, you might ask - what prompted a test when I am getting ready to start stimming in a few days?

Well, last night I had a teeny, tiny bit of spotting. Now, I am on Day 31 of my cycle, 9 days post-o (according to blood test) and stopped taking Provera two days ago. My temp this morning was still highish - 36.67 deg C. So anyway, I hopefully though that this might be implantation spotting, since by my calculations my period isn't due 'till at least Friday according to when I ovulated. Implantation spotting is meant to happen around 7-10 days post-o.

But - BFN. I think this is my body playing its usual tricks on me. I've been on this implantation spotting merry-go-round before. I always have at least a day or two of spotting before my period really gets going. My gynae says this could be an indication of endometriosis, as the rogue endometrial tissue bleeds from somewhere else other than the uterus. It is most probably the explanation for my infertility. I've got no other symptoms though - no pain and such, that others experience.

Also, since this is the first time I've taken Provera, I don't really know what to expect with it. Does it cause bleeding soon after you stop taking it, or does your own progesterone keep things going for a little while longer if it is hanging around? Don't know.

In the past, I've been very cautious about testing too early since it leads to tears so I always wait until at least Day 30 or more before I test. But perhaps I have missed some early pregnancies that never went the distance. This in itself would be interesting information to have because it would narrow down what might be happening. It would at least tell me that I do release eggs and husband's sperm can fertilise them. But in nearly 11 months of TTC, I have not had one positive pregnancy test so it is a bit worrying.

Still, that's why we are doing IVF. On another positive note, there was an article in the SMH this morning saying that the chances of women 40-44 conceiving through IVF has doubled in the last 4 years. Countrywide, it is about 9.9% chance per cycle and I am right at the best end of that scale agewise.

So, BFN but tomorrow is another day. Still going well with the Lucrin injections. No side effects to speak of, other than a pain in my left hip. No idea if this is related but the product information does talk about bone pain, so maybe. But it could be too much running as well. Must remember to ask the nurses if running is ok when I get to the stimming stage.