Waiting, waiting, waiting.....for AF to arrive

Its Sunday afternoon and I'm in the garden again - another beautiful day. Went to the beach yesterday, our first time this season. It's lovely that summer is almost here again. Lovely husband and I have enjoyed spending some quiet time together this weekend.

Unfortunately, I wish I was more relaxed though. I am very agitated that my period is taking a while to arrive, because until it does, we can't start the IVF stimulation meds. I had a blood test on Friday morning (Day 33). It was busy again and a 40 minute wait. I also got the rest of my meds in a nice little blue carry bag. I've got a shot of Ovidrel for the trigger (when I finally get to it). The needle and volume look huge - not looking forward to that one. I've also got a sharps container and lots more Lucrin needles and swabs. Plus there is a Puregon pen and 3 boxes of 900 IU of Puregon. It looks like a lot when it is all laid out. I've read the instructions for the Purgeon pen and it sounds pretty straightforward, although they are very detailed but that's a good thing. The instructions talk about letting the medication warm up a bit to room temp before injection. I haven't been doing that with the Lucrin but am now trying it to see if it makes any difference. They also recommend letting the skin dry for 1 minute after swabbing. This is presumably to kill any bugs with the alcohol before injecting. I tried this with the Lucrin injection yesterday and it seemed to hurt more than when I just swabbed and stuck it straight in so I'll go back to that method. I haven't had any injection site infections and no sign that I've injected at all, apart from one tiny bruise, which is higher up than I normally inject, so must aim to keep the stabs below my belly button.

I got the blood test result call on Friday afternoon, much later than usual. They must have had a busy day. Anyway, the nurse said my 'levels' were still too high to start FSH injections and that I need to wait for my period, which she said should come in the next day or two. I was on the train at the time so couldn't delve into exactly what levels she was talking about, but I assume she meant my estradiol (E2) and progesterone levels, the latter of which is probably keeping my period away.

I also had a job interview on Friday and to all intents and purposes they have made me an offer. Very exciting to have a new job to look forward to but possibly quite a lot to deal with on top of IVF.

So with the impatience of the what seems like an interminable wait for AF to start, and the turmoil of juggling work commitments and job offers, I am feeling very fretful and unsettled. Perhaps this is made worse by PMT. I don't normally suffer from it but it might explain my mood. Yesterday I woke up with a pimple on my chin - something that never happens, even when I'm pre-menstrual. Hopefully it is a sign that this cycle is about to end - I really hope so.

I am feeling worried about this first IVF cycle. I really don't know how I will cope if it doesn't work. I just need to keep telling myself that there is a fair chance it won't, but it doesn't mean the end of the road for us becoming parents. I just really, really wish I knew what was wrong with my body that it can't get pregnant. My doctor had a very good take on it when I first went to see her. She said 'Its not you, its the embryos. Some of them just don't work, so don't blame yourself'. Its a good way of thinking about it.