35 weeks pregnant and frustration starts to set in

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant, which is 8 months. It's fantastic that I've got this far when you consider that the only thing keeping E3 in for the last 8 weeks (or more??!) has been 14 mm of closed cervix.

There are just 14 more days until I am 37 weeks and technically 'at term'.

Unfortunately, after 7.5 weeks of almost total inactivity and being a prisoner in my own house, the frustration is starting to set in.

In the early days, I got through things by just taking one day at a time. It actually helped not knowing how long the 'captivity' was going to continue. But now I am more or less out of the danger zone, I just want to know how many days of this are left.

I haven't seen my own obstetrician for nearly 4 weeks. Probably if I had, I think I might have had a caesarian date booked in by now. I'm not completely certain Dr I will book me in even next week when I see him, but I'm expecting that he will.

I am betting he will want to do a caesarian when I am either 38 or 39 weeks but I will just have to wait until next Wednesday to see.

There's a growing list of things I am looking forward to when I am no longer pregnant. Of course, I realise that I will just be swapping one set of 'life restrictions' for another, but at least they will be a different set of restrictions, and right now, the maxim 'a change is as good as a holiday' couldn't be more true for me.

So here are my top 5 things I am looking forward to post-pregnancy:

1. Being able to eat what I want, when I want to eat it

I've adapted really well to having gestational diabetes and am controlling my blood sugar well without the help of insulin. But it comes at a price. I am eating a 'meal' every 2.5 hours pretty much on the dot. The blood sugar balance is so finely tuned that any deviation from the normal routine whatsoever throws it out completely.

For example, this morning I ate two slices of Mollenberg soy linseed toast, instead of Burgen soy linseed toast, and my blood sugar was 7.6 (ie. borderline - just over target) compared to the usual mid 6's that I have every other morning. LH bought the other brand because the supermarket had run out of Burgen. The new brand was ok for my lunch yesterday but obviously not ok for breakfast this morning. That's how sensitive my blood sugar is to a change and it really wears me down after a while.

Apart from the odd bit of chocolate (that's one square only!!!), I have had no 'treats' whatsoever for nearly 8 weeks. Even for someone like me who is a healthy eater, that's fairly serious depravation.

And having two people (dietician and endocrinologist) scrutinise every single thing that goes into my mouth every week is a massive imposition of privacy. Every time I get it wrong, I feel their 'displeasure' and 'censure' is going to come down on me. They do it in the nicest possible way but it makes me feel like a 5 year old.

This one also includes being able to eat pates and soft cheeses and other forbidden fruits, but that is a comparatively minor issue compared with the above.

2. Having an ice-cold glass of crisp white wine (or even better, champagne!)

It's now nearly 10 months since I've had a glass of alcohol. I enjoy a drink but that's a long time in anyone's language. I'm doing it for E3 but that doesn't mean I not fantasising about that first glass. Maybe it will taste awful, or horror of horrors, I will have gone off drinking! :-) (E3 seems very excited while I write this. Not sure if its the sound of the keyboard clacking or what. It will be interesting to see what sounds he/she recognise when they come out).

3. Being able to get out of the house and have some company

I know this one is going to be restricted by E3 a bit, but at least I can take him/her out of the house for a breather some of the time. How realistic that will be remains to be seen, but at least I won't be bound by having to sit on the couch all the time. I am looking forward to the mother's groups because it will at least give me some social interaction. The big problem with this regimen has been that nearly everybody we know in Sydney works full time, so the days are very long and lonely for me at the moment.

4. Doing exercise

I know it will only be walking to start with, but after weeks on end of no activity whatsoever, the thought of going for a run or a swim is just so enticing. It will take a while to physically be able to cope with 'real' exercise, and E3 will probably put his own restrictions on it as well, but at least it won't be forbidden.

5. No pessaries

This seems like a minor one when I write it down, but god, it will be nice not to have to insert a progesterone pessary inside myself every night. I have to be ever so careful not to move around too much after it is in so I don't squeeze it out. And at some stage during the night or early morning, it melts (it's like a very small wax candle) and runs out of me. I could cope with this if it wasn't for the fact that I worry it could be amniotic fluid instead and how will I know the difference? LH reckons I will definitely know the difference, and I hope that is true. Or rather, I hope the amniotic fluid never leaks out, so I never have to find out.

And 5 things I will miss about the 'bed rest prison':

1. Sleep - as much as I like, whenever I like
2. Reading - again, on tap, whenever I want
3. Staying in bed as long as I like
4. Doing everything at a leisurely pace
5. Time for daydreaming