The nurse really struggled to get a handle on where my endometrium was. She called in the ultrasonographer trainer but they both really had a hard time focussing on it. The problem seems to be this fibroid that has appeared. It was spotted on the last cycle too but Dr D decided it was ok and not a concern for the transfer.
But today they really had a hard time measuring the endometrium without mistaking it for the fibroid. This seems like a real worry to me. If they can't measure the lining because the fibroid keeps getting in the way, then how can we be sure it won't affect the transfer and implantation? I also think that in my first cancelled frozen cycle, when the nurse measured my endometrium at 22mm, she was actually measuring the fibroid, which is even more concerning. My absolute faith in the competence and skill of the clinic has been shaken a bit by all this.
Anyway, they finally determined that my lining was 6.5mm on average of several measurements. This is really borderline - it needs to be 6mm. So by the time I got out of there, LH was well overdue to start his 7.30am teleconference so it was all a bit of a muck-up.
They took ages to call today as well. I didn't get the call until about 1.30pm and then the nurse said Dr D was happy with the results of my hysterography in March, so it was all fine. I said I didn't think I'd had a hysterography in March, so the nurse decided to call Dr D back to double check. Then I started thinking, maybe I did have one before the D&C in February. In any case, no-one spotted any fibroid at that stage.
Finally, the nurse called back again and said Dr D had decided I should have another ultrasound tomorrow at the ultrasound clinic (ie. not with the nurses), where a doctor would write the report, just to be sure.
The only problem is that LH has gone to Berlin on a business trip today so I haven't got anyone to look after Zoe while I have the scan done. Plus I have to go to work tomorrow. Fortunately, the nurse said I can go to the ultrasound clinic on the North Shore, near work, instead of the one in the city that I normally go to.
So my plan is to get up really early, get Zoe up and fed and leave the house around 7am. I'll then drop Zoe at childcare, then get the train up to the clinic, have the scan done, then get the train back to work. Hopefully it will all work out.
Before today, I was already feeling pretty down about this cycle. The realisation is starting to settle that we are just not going to be successful this time around. And now the events of today have made me feel even less hopeful. I really hope we are not wasting embryos on a uterus that's got problems.
As I posted previously, it does feel like we are going through the motions now to tick off all our options before we finally acknowledge that there won' be any more children. I hope that I'm wrong but all my positivity has evaporated this cycle and I just need to mentally prepare for more negative pregnancy tests.
We do have our gorgeous girl though and for that I am eternally and daily grateful. If our family is just the three of us, it will be fine. It just takes a little getting used to though.
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