I told her she needed to be sure that she had that right because I've had four operative hysteroscopies to remove retained placenta. She then said, 'oh yeah, I wondered why that bit looked so bright.' And then relooked at it and decided that yes, there is something in the top left of my uterus.
I just can't believe that yet again, she would have missed it and happily reported to my doctor that my lining was 7mm if I hadn't said anything. This is the same operator that last year reported my lining was 23mm (!) during a frozen cycle, when in fact she was measuring the chunk of placenta.
Anyway, needless to say, this is pretty bad news. It means that yet again, the hysteroscopy has failed to get rid of the retained placenta and I have no chance of getting pregnant while it persists.
My mindset now is that I want to wait for a while and see if more of it comes out of the lining, and then have another try to get rid of it. Or maybe over time, it will eventually go away by itself. The way I see it is that there's only a finite amount of the damn stuff in there so if we keep trying, eventually there won't be any more that can come out. But the problem is that more surgery might just irreparably damage the lining so I can't get pregnant anyway.
But what choice do I have? I'm stuck with embryos that I can't use and no chance of things resolving without surgery, since they haven't after 16 months. Anyway, tomorrow I go to see Dr G for a follow-up on the last hysteroscopy so I can talk it through with him,
On a more positive note, things are going well with my ovaries. My E2 is 3361, LH is 3.9 and P4 is 4.7 so the down-regulation of LH is working and oestrogen is rising. I've actually got 12 follicles growing, and about 3-4 of them are around 11-13 mm so that's all good. Its a pretty good result for a 43 year-old. So perhaps we might end up with another one or two embryos to play with. This stage of my first two IVF cycles I had about 24 or more follicles growing, so it just shows how much my fertility has dropped away in the last two years. But plenty of women my age just don't respond to FSH stimulation at all, so I'm lucky really.
I think Lovely Husband was a bit upset at the bad news about my endometrium this morning. He's been fine all along with this second round of IVF, saying he doesn't mind if we don't have another child. But this morning, even though he tried to hide it, I think he was really disappointed. Perhaps he is wanting a second baby more than he is letting on.
For me, the urgency of everything has gone away now that we are doing this stimulated cycle. I'm pretty sure now that it will be our last, and then we can just take a break for a while as we wait for the uterus to sort itself out. That may never happen but at least I'm not feeling any more that time is trickling away and there's nothing I can do about it.
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