Do I let her be exposed to sun more than I should? Is she being poisoned by carbon monoxide from being wheeled around in her pram in inner city Sydney? Should I be changing her nappy more often? Is it bad to skip her bath some days because I can't be bothered? Is it bad to ignore her when she wakes up at night to have a little chat? Should I be playing with her more? Is she being stimulated enough?
And of course, the big guilt factor, giving up breastfeeding at 5 months, which is about to happen. I could go on forever really, and I don't mean to imply that I spend all my time worrying about whether I am doing the right thing. These things are just passing thoughts really, as I clock them, and then decide they don't matter too much. All in all, I think I'm quite a relaxed mother and that's how I want it to be.
My in-laws were very kind in their assessment of me after staying here a month. They told LH and also his sister that they were impressed with how I was looking after Zoe - that I was very easy going and striking just the right balance between caring for her and not being too obsessive.
I can really see how helicopter parents (definition: parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems - thanks Wikipedia) are born.
It starts with warming the milk in the bottle, buying blackout curtains to create a completely dark room in the hope that baby will finally sleep, ditto banning all noise in the house, buying a baby wipes warmer so the wee one won't be startled with having its bum subjected to sudden cold wetness, and so on.
Pretty soon it turns into playing with their baby during its every waking moment, searching out extra-curricular activities like baby gym and rhyme time and before you know it, you are spending hours on a HSC/VCE assignment so the little darling will get straight A's.
So far, Zoe has drank cold milk straight from the fridge, sleeps in a room that has the sun shining in during the day, and certainly tolerates cold baby wipes. I'm sure there will be myriad decisions to be made along the way where we will have to choose between the cosseted option and the 'she'll be right' option.
I read an article last week about how parents these days have more time on their hands because of labour-saving devices in the home. It has led to them constantly stimulating their babies, who never get the chance to learn to play on their own. In years past, mothers simply didn't have time to get down on the floor and play with baby all the time. They pointed out that learning to entertain yourself is an important skill for babies to learn.
As for the safety aspects of childcare, well, if we are going to take it to its logical conclusion, we should move to the country as far away from city smog as we can get, eat only organically grown food, and never allow her to be in the sun, or to ride a bike or walk on a road. Somewhere in there is a sensible balance and hopefully we will manage to achieve it so we raise a well-adjusted, adventurous little girl.
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